


The Fight for Solace

by AkumaxAi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-25 14:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2624795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkumaxAi/pseuds/AkumaxAi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s funny really. How everything is going good for you until a few simple words cause your life to go spiraling into darkness. Jean and Armin knew this feeling all too well. Between bad breakups and deceased loved ones the two search for some kind of consolation and find it in the most oddest of places; each other. But here’s the problem: Jean and Armin are both male, which wouldn't be that big of an issue if Armin wasn't Jean’s teacher, several years older, and everyone around them wasn't against their potential relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Am I the One Always Packing Up My Stuff?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! Now to everybody that knows me and my work, welcome back! And welcome to all newcomers of course! Just call me Aku, otherwise known as the authoress that you’re going to end up hating within a few months since she loves starting new stories without updating her old ones!
> 
> But for now lets move past my shortcomings and talk about the fic. It will be long, it will be sad as hell, and you know what, it may be funny sometimes but trust me when I say this, the angst will definitely outride the humor. But please stick around for the show; just bear in mind while reading this story that things have to get worse before they get any better! 
> 
> Not making this any better am I? Welp, continue on to chapter one for now than!

_‘’It’s best if we never speak of this again.’’_

_‘’Where is this coming from all of the sudden?’’_

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Delete.

__

_‘’I don’t want there to be any ill will between us.’’_

__

_‘’So breaking up with me over text after ignoring me for two weeks isn’t going to cause some ‘ill will’._

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Delete.

_‘’You knew how risky this was. It’s best for us to just drop this now before it gets too serious.’’_

__

_‘’I’m going to go on a whim and say after two and a half years of us dating you never took me seriously to begin with. I knew the risk when I, no I mean when YOU, approached me.’’_

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Delete.

_‘’I’m protecting you this way.’’_

__

_‘’Go to hell.’’_

De-fucking-lete.

* * *

 

‘’I can’t believe you spent your entire summer wallowing in self pity and depression over some jerk off with a bad haircut.’’ A raven haired male said as he unpacked boxes. His green eyes took a look of disgust as he picked up a photo frame from inside the box and passed it over to his blonde haired friend. ‘’Burn it, toss it, chop it up into bits and eat it, I don’t care what you do with it but if I see his stupid mug anywhere around your new place I’ll walk over to his house and punch him right in the jugular.’’ The blonde rolled his eyes playfully before chucking the photo into a box labeled as ‘trash’. ‘’Honestly Eren I think you’re more mad about this than I am.’’

‘’Because you’re very shitty when it comes to expressing your true feelings!’’ the boy named Eren said with a disappointed look. ‘’Honestly Armin I was waiting for you to sock that bastard right in his face after all the shit he put you through!’’ Armin just waved off his friends rantings, already being subjected to them through the whole summer. His life has been a bit miserable these last two months but it was now reaching the end of August which meant he would have to go back to work soon and as of right now the only thing he wanted to think about was his job and and getting situated in his new home. Eren was here for that sole purpose but he gets....easily distracted to say the least. Especially when it comes to his best friends well being.

‘’And do you know Mikasa was about ready to grab her sword and pierce that fucker through the eye? It took everything in mine and Annie’s power to hold her back! And Annie was actually struggling!’’

‘’Eren you’re ranting again. Here, this goes inside that endtable.’’

‘’I’m ranting because he’s a dumbass. A dumbass who’s hurting you.’’ He said as he grabbed the blondes knick knacks and shoved them in the drawer.

‘’Hurt me Eren. I’m over it, I’m over him, and I just want to forget about him and enjoy the new school year.’’ At this Armins eyes began to widen in excitement as he clasped his hands together in joy. ‘’We’re getting a whole new set of students this year! You should be excited.’’

‘’Yeah I just love teaching shitty prepubescent brats about the circumference of a circle since their damn sophomore teachers failed to teach them properly. Joy.’’ Eren said with an obvious air of disdain. The blonde pouted at this before shaking his head disapprovingly. ‘’Levi is rubbing off way too much on you. I hope you have no intention of cursing like that in front of your students." But the look Eren gave his friend showed none of the kindness that Armin possessed and a small part of Armin worried for the poor students that would be stuck with Eren for a whole semester.

Some students drop the class out of fear of facing a curse filled lecture and hourly death threats if you forgot your homework and others are viewed as high school champions for braving five months of vigorous studying and abnormal teaching habits.

Either way both groups end up scarred for the rest of their high school career. It wasn't a pleasant experience that most students like to go through. If anything Eren's class was full of students who neglected to attend early registration and pick which home room they would like to attend.

Armin felt for them, He really did. Eren wouldn't even let any students transfer out if they wanted to, which was the real kick in the teeth.

"Trust me Armin, these kids need some kind of discipline in their lives. Remember how I was in my freshman year of college?"

"Your loud talking, obnoxious, cocky, irritating phase of life? Yes I remember quite well. By your second semester you were being trained by Levi himself so you can be a more respectable human being."

"Exactly! Without boundaries how else will these brats learn to be as great as I?"

"Yes because that's all the world needs, little miniature Levi's running around making sure order and cleanliness is at 110% every hour of the hour." Armin said with the obvious air of sarcasm. Eren just rolled his eyes playfully at the blonde and picked up another box that was filled with clothing. He knew Armin was never really phased by his boyfriends antics.

‘’Where exactly do you want this. It looks like a bunch of shorts.....like really short shorts.’’ The blonds face blanched as he hurriedly grabbed the box and held it closely to his chest. ‘’This is going to the attic. I mean it’s about to be fall so I can’t wear these anyway....’’

‘’Armin I’ve never seen you wear those anywhere a day in your life.’’

‘’W-well it was something I would wear for Erwin whenever-" But the minute Erwin’s name left the blondes mouth Eren immediately covered his ears and screamed to the high heavens.

‘’Ahhhh!! I don’t want to know and I don’t need to know!! J-just...Gosh Armin just throw them out or something!’’ The smaller male groaned at the brunettes attitude and rolled his eyes.

‘’Eren you’re making it seem like you and Levi don’t have the weirdest kinks in the world.’’ The blonde said exasperatedly. At this Eren just made a sound of disbelief while Armin continued. ‘’Please don’t turn this into something bigger than it actually is. We’re both adults here.’’ But that obviously wasn’t the case as Eren’s sound of disbelief turned into full on venting.

‘’Armin what me and Levi do are totally different from what you and Erwin do-!’’

‘’Did.’’

‘’Did, do, whatever! You guys still did it!! And whatever ‘ít’ is, it’s quite disturbing to say the least. I mean honestly look at these!’’ The blonde wasn’t quick enough to yank the unbelievably short bottoms from his best friends grasp as he held them up. ‘’Seriously Armin how do you even FIT in these? It’s so obvious they’re not meant to hold your ass in or anything.’’

‘’OKAY!’’ After finally finding the strength and forgetting the raging blush on his own face, Armin managed to grab the article of clothing back from his friend and chuck it across the room. He tried to compose himself as much as possible so he can tell Eren off without seeming so flustered.

‘’Listen Eren, sometimes I wonder briefly how in the world we’ve been friends for 15 years but then I remember that deep down, very deep down, there is some good qualities about you that I love and respect. So for the love of God can you please stop talking before I start to reevaluate my friendship with you.’’

Whatever rebuttal Eren had was quickly silenced by the blondes threat. He raised his hands in defeat wanting to just drop the subject and grabbed one of the bigger boxes on the floor and hurried to the staircase to avoid anymore confrontations with the ticked off blonde. Armin let out a strangled sigh and plopped down on his couch in defeat.

Eren has nothing but the best intentions and Armin knows this for a fact, but the blonde was stuck dealing with the same insults towards his ex and lectures about how he could do so much better for the last two and a half months that he’s sick and tired of the repetitiveness that his life has taken up. After the break up he was left without a place to stay and was forced to choose between Eren, the over protective best friend with the worst temper in the world and the mouth of a sailor or his half sister Mikasa and her girlfriend Annie. And Annie and Mikasa’s relationship was basically the personification of two grizzly bears in a steel cage death match where every season was basically mating season for the two females.

It’s not a place Armin wanted to be whenever the two went at it. And whenever they went at it, they went at it hard, with no care as to who could be emotionally scarred in the process. So that left Eren to be the one to house him for the duration of the summer.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. In actuality the love Eren and Armin share for each other is sacred. More than friends, even more than brothers. Borderline soul mates if that exact term to describe the two wouldn’t send Eren’s boyfriend into a blind seething rage of undeniable jealousy, but they were undoubtedly close. However no matter how close the two were there were certain rules that Armin learned throughout the years of knowing and growing with Eren that had to be adhered in order to make the best of their friendship and not have them clashing at each other throats. Living with Eren for the last two months has broken at least fifteen of these rules.

The blonde loves Eren, he really does, but there was only so much of the brunette that he can take. In order for Armin to save their friendship from falling through the cracks he had to move out as soon as possible from the brunette. It wasn’t as though they were on bad terms or anything it’s just....where Mikasa was an intimidating, dauntless grizzly bear, Eren was ballbusting, loud mouthed titan.

Either way Armin was glad to have his own place again. The privacy was much appreciated and now he can finally enjoy the must needed 'me time' that he wasn't able to experience after a bad breakup. He was on the path of self discovery.

New job, new house, no strings attached.

Nothing can go wrong. Armin was invincible.

* * *

 

"We are gathered here today to remember the life of Marco Bott. A caring friend, a loving son, and an astonishingly bright young man."

_'An even better and loving boyfriend but knowing how poorly you reacted to Marco coming out you probably won't even include that to uphold your 'quaint and faithful Christian family' facade. What a joke.'_

__

"He was taken from us too soon by a terrible injustice but knowing Marco he would not want us to wish any ill will. The only thing I truly wish from this event is for Marco to find justice and to rest peacefully in heaven. He is with God now."

' _Maybe it was a good idea that he didn't tell his parents about his atheistic views on life. He is the farthest from God, especially at this moment.'_

__

"I cannot have asked for a better son. Me and his mother are so proud of the accomplishments he has made and wish nothing but the best for him up in heaven."

_'Funny, could have sworn you screamed, and I quote, 'I could never give life to such a disgraceful faggot'. Hypocrite.'_

"I want all of my family and all of Marco's friends to remember our Marco in a positive light. I wish the best for all of you and thank you for attending this service. May God bless you all."

__

_'You also told me to 'go fuck yourself, you're going to hell, and numerous other slur words that I'm pretty sure your lord and savior wouldn't appreciate.'_

__

The service came to a tearful end as family and friends bid the grieving couple their condolences. The brunette teen looked a bit awkward, not entirely sure If he should approach the two due to the troublesome and traumatic few days he had endured with the Bott family.

To put it nice and simple Marco's coming out to his parents went miserable. And then after a terrible falling out with his parents, a minor disagreement between both he and Marco which came at such terrible timing, and him disappearing for two days just to turn up dead at the outskirts of town probably put him on Marco's parents shit list for the rest of his his life.

'It's probably for the best. Marco wouldn't want me kissing up to his stuck up parents anyhow.' But before the teen can even turn around to leave he caught the sight of the male who was holding the service. He walked up to him with a surprisingly calm look on his face.  

"Oh Jean, if only things were different." The teen named Jean suppressed a shudder when the older male placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know you're a good kid and so was Marco. It may be too late for my son but if you just admit to the lord your sins even he will look past your debauchery. He just might be forgiving enough to look past you corrupting my son-"

"I didn't corrupt your son! He loved me and I loved him just as much. He can't help that he was born that way-" The brunette was cut off as the older males hand squeezed tighter on his shoulder. He leaned in closer to Jeans ear, a smile gracing his face, but his eyes showing an unmistakable anger.

"Let me tell you one thing son. You will never raise your voice at me, around me, or around any member of my family. Also you will refrain from slandering my sons good name. He lived a good Christian life and he died a good and loving Christian boy. You will not ruin this for me or my wife. Now leave."

Jean looked as though he wanted to say more, some witty rebuttal, a few curse words damning their so called God, to leave kicking and screaming in some random police mans arms, anything to show his late boyfriend that he would not stand for this. He wanted to uncover the truth to every living person that had to sit here and be spoon fed all the lies by his selfish parents. He knew that Marco deserved at least that much after being disowned and shunned by his family. The mask that they put over his true self just to save face. To uncover the hypocrisy that practically dripped from his parents tears. It was disgusting and difficult to look at.

And yet all Jean could truly do was stand there. He couldn’t bring himself to even stand up for himself or his late lover. The anger and sadness was bubbling up within him but all he could manage was a terse bow and a strangled out ‘Sorry for your lost’. And the father wore his smug look with pride as he watched Jean walk out of the funeral home with his head hung low.

Once the brunette made it outside he couldn't stop the downpour of tears that cascaded down his face. He wiped at his face furiously with his jacket sleeve but to no avail. All the tears did was obscure his vision as he attempted to walk through the rainy streets to return to his home.

The rain is comforting really. Nobody looked at him weird for crying in the middle of the day and the only thing wiping away the tears did was leave his skin feeling harsh and rough from the material of his sweater. Besides, Marco was always such a crybaby. He might be happy seeing Jean 'expressing his feelings so openly'.

_'Expressing myself huh? Heh, same thing that got me in trouble with him last time. Just before he died....and you would think I would have the goddamn balls to at least stand up to his fucktard of a father.'_

 

Even thinking about it made Jean immediately livid. He didn't understand how parents can be so uncaring to their own son. Sure his father wasn't all keen on his own coming out but his mother welcomed him with open arms, even letting Marco crash at his place whenever the ravens parents were being more anal than normal. It frustrated Jean to no end to know that there were still bigots this cruel in two thousand and fucking fourteen. The nature of their beliefs disgust him to no end.

It was nice that his parents were so caring...

"Oh my goodness, Jean! Where in the world is your umbrella!? You're going to catch cold!"

Or too caring.

Jean’s mother came rushing over and guided her son over to the kitchen. She was quick to put on the kettle and grab a wash cloth to wipe over his face and hair. Usually whenever she coddled her son like this he would be quick to refuse her help and start yelling at her to get grip but all he did was stand there motionless as she wiped his cheeks with the soft towel. She summed it up to the depressing day that her son had and forced a smile.

She knew about the situation regarding Marco and wanted her son to go to the memorial to get some kind of closure but she didn't expect him to come back feeling worse. She put the towel back on the counter and gave her son a smile. "How are you holding up kiddo?"

"I'm not a kid and I'm doing fine, thanks." Jean said bitterly. He let out an exhausted sigh and rubbed his hand over his forehead as though to clear his mind. "It's just hard y'know? I didn't even stay for the body viewing. I might have broken down right then and there. Didn't want his father to have that kind of satisfaction."

"Oh sweetie you’ll get through this, don’t dwell too much on it.’’ She tried to sound as encouraging as possible but the brunette didn’t even perk up. ‘’Do you want some hot chocolate to soothe your mind? Just how you like it, extra whipped cream, a Hersheys Cookies‘n’Creme bar, plenty of mini marshmallows, and light cinnamon of course." She said in an extra sugary sweet tone. Jean let out a bitter laugh as he waved his hand in a ‘whatever’ type fashion. Truth be told, that wasn’t the way he liked hot chocolate. Hell, he didn’t like hot chocolate at all but whenever Marco came over he would always ask for the same beverage and his mother would prepare it to perfection each time. She would make one for Marco and Jean but Marco loved the drink so much that he would end up taking Jean’s cup. It was always nice to see the ravens face light up whenever he took a sip of the hot cocoa.

But those days were over. No more late night study sessions that lead into small kisses at ungodly hours, no more walking to school together and saying hi to the nice shop lady who provided them with sweets, no more of that incredible feeling of being able to accomplish anything and everything with someone who truly understood you and was always there for you.

Marco Bott. His best friend, his lover, his everything, was gone for good. And it truly just hit him as he stood inside his bedroom with the steaming cup of hot cocoa but no freckle faced raven to give it to. Just a single picture showing his smiling, blushing face as Jean held him close that sat upon his desk. He placed the mug in front of the frame but even as he sat down on his bed his eyes couldn't turn away from it. Before the brunette even knew it there were tears streaming down his face. Slow and steady at first but then the tears just poured down his face in rivulets. He convulsed, slumping onto his bed as he held his hand over his heart to try to offer some kind of reassurance that he’ll be okay but he honestly couldn't do it.

He wasn’t sure if he was going to be okay. And that was the scariest part of this whole situation.

Everything was falling to pieces. Jean has never felt more defeated than he did right now.

 


	2. Sip After Sip You Insist You're a Hit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Erwin do you know what goes great with the bitter taste of failure? The bitter taste of your most expensive bottle of red wine."
> 
> "Armin if you drink every time something doesn't go your way you're going to end up becoming an alcoholic. You're not even of legal age yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please don't hate me for the lateness.

_"Armin are you sure you're okay to be alone? I know how you get when your plans fall through and I don't want you to suffer through it alone. Just say the word and I'll come home right away."_

__

_"I'm not upset Erwin! Besides its their lost anyway. I'm like the smartest thing since sliced bread or sumthing."_

__

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Messages deleted.

_"Hey Erwin do you know what goes great with the bitter taste of failure? The bitter taste of your most expensive bottle of red wine."_

__

_"Armin if you drink every time something doesn't go your way you're going to end up becoming an alcoholic. You're not even of legal age yet."_

__

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Messages deleted.

_"I just don't understand how I didn't get accepted Erwin! The essays were near perfect, I had enough referrals, the interview went so well too! I just don't understand where I could have gone wrong at!"_

__

_"Armin I honestly can't tell you that. I'm not the president of the university so I'm not sure what was going through his head. I will tell you this much however; that essay was one of the most well written papers I've read in a while. There was so much passion in every word that the president must have been a blind fool to not see how deserving and compassionate you are about that school. He lost out on a real treasure._

__

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

..............

**  
  
**

* * *

 

"Congratulations on moving on to bigger and better things Armin. May pervy old dudes with bad haircuts steer clear of you for the rest of your life."

"Eren." The tone was dangerous enough for Eren to drop whatever insults he had planned right away.

"Last one, I swear." The brunette let out a sheepish grin as he raised his glass full of red wine along with Armin, his sister Mikasa, and her girlfriend Annie. They clicked their wine glasses and took a quick sip of the substance, to which Armin grimaced as soon as the liquid touched his tongue. Eren, noticing the look on the blondes face, raised an eyebrow.

"Oh it's nothing, just.." Armin tried desperately to search for the words to not offend Eren but luckily (or unluckily) Annie beat him to the punch first.

"This wine taste cheap as hell Eren. It's disgusting." Blunt as ever. Annie didn't even shy away as Eren looked at her as though he was highly offended from her words. He got up and shoved the bottle in her face.

"The wine may be cheap but it's some good tasting wine."

"It taste like dirty sewage water."

"How would you even know how that taste Annie!?"

"You seem to forget I was in and out of jail when I was younger. They got real creative in that place just for some kind of alcohol. Toilet wine was their masterpiece, and this shit taste just like that."

Eren blanched at the mere thought of the substance. "It's not that bad! Your taste buds are just messed up!"

"Fine then." She looked to Armin and the blonde didn't even bother to suppress a groan of annoyance. Every Time Eren and his cousin got into it he was always dragged into the middle of their quarrels. Mikasa was always the lucky one. The designated mediator since neither of them wanted to incite her anger. "Armin what do you think of Erens toilet wine?"

"W-well the taste isn't that bad...."

"'That bad?' Armin this is the same wine we use to drink all the friggin time!"

"I'm aware of that Eren. It's just I've been living with Erwin for so long that my pallet is kind of used to the more.....expensive brand."

Eren looked as though his heart had broken into a million pieces at Armin's remark while Annie barked out a snide laugh. "See, even Armin doesn't want any of your disgusting, pitiful excuse for wine." Annie's laughter came to an abrupt halt however once Mikasa gave the blond woman a sharp look. Annie looked slightly defiant, wanting to see how far she can push the women by defying her, but decided against it, knowing the outcome would not be pretty once Mikasa and her got home.

"Eren, the wine isn't what's important. What's important is that Armin found this lovely and comfortable home far away from that raging old pervert and now he's ready to move on and enjoy himself." Mikasa's deadpan expression really left no room for argument so all Armin was able to do was let out a stressful sigh. Mikasa was always so protective of him, more so than Eren at times, but where Mikasa would only bring up Erwin once in a while, Eren would jump on any opportunity to bad mouth Erwin as much as he can without Armin's interruptions. He quickly raced to his foster sister's side and joined in the conversation.

"I never liked him to begin with. He was always smug, rude, and a smartass about everything. He constantly disregarded anything that I wanted to say."

"Eren you just described Levi." The raven female said with a quirked eyebrow.

"Wha-? No I didn't!......did I?" But everybody in the room gave him a unanimous ‘Yes.’ which caused him to blush profusely. Even when he doesn’t want to talk about his stoic boyfriend he ended up doing it unintentionally. The brunette just grumbled in response and chugged his beverage in irritation. ‘’It’s not like I mean to! Levi and fuck-face are best friends so they might as well be interchangeable.’’

‘’I don’t think so.’’ Annie added. ‘’Where fuck-face is smug and rude as you said he's very subtle about it to the point where you can't even tell he's doing it. Levi on the other hand is way more up front about it. You can tell Levi means emotional harm when he says certain things. Probably explains why you’re such a masochist Eren.’’

‘’I AM NOT!’’

‘’Annie might be onto something here. If anyone can spot a masochist then it would be a fellow masochist.’’ Mikasa added matter of factly. The blonde woman looked as though she wanted to argue about this but one look from the raven kept her quiet, albeit reluctantly.

As the night continued, so did the number of alcoholic beverages that sat upon Armin's coffee table. Once Eren finished off his 26 ounce wine bottle by himself, since nobody else was willing to put up the charade of actually enjoying the taste, Mikasa brought out a 12 pack of Colt 45, much to Annie's delight. The blond female managed to down five cans before succumbing to the inevitable drowsiness and began leaning heavily on her girlfriend's shoulder. Mikasa looked at Annie for quick second before mumbling something along the lines of her being such a lightweight.

"Oi! Drinking five cans of...H-hard liquor is far from 'lightweight', missy! Unlike lil baby Eren, who looks like he's half dead!"

Eren jerked up at the mention of his name and glared daggers at the blonde. "Y-you seem to f-forget I already chugged that goddamn w-wine bottle by myself so, *hic*, suck on that you she-devil!" The brunette then proceeded to chug his second can of beer and chuck the bottle at Annie, just for Mikasa to catch it and place it on the table, far out of Eren's reach.

"Why must both of you act like children when you're drunk?" She asked with a sigh.

"I'm not drunk though!!" Both of them screamed in retaliation. Armin chuckled at their outburst. He knew well enough that drinking even one can of the Colt 45 would completely wreck him since him and hard liquor do not mix at all. And having Annie and Eren drunk was one thing, but Mikasa was working on her fifth can of beer and a small hue of red was beginning to dust her cheeks as well. Having all three of them drunk without any supervision was a huge no-no, but the blonde had no idea what to do with his guest seeing as none of them brought their cars, plus they were too drunk to get behind the wheel anyway, and if Armin sent them off in a cab he'd be too busy wondering if they got home safely to get any sleep that evening.

And to think all of this was happening the day before his first day at his new job. What a way to start off the work week.

Armin knew there was only one solution to his problem, a solution he was hoping to avoid tonight, but had to be done if he planned to get any sleep at all. He grabbed Eren's jacket and went through each pocket until he found the brunette's cellphone. He scrolled through the contacts until he stopped at the name Levi that was also accompanied by a kissy face emoji and the devil emoji. He pressed call and held the phone up to his ear and listened as the dial tone went on for a couple of seconds before a very irritable voice answered on the other line.

‘’Listen you fucking brat, I already told you that if you get drunk I am not picking you up just for you to fucking vomit all over my damn car again. You need a ride home, ask that mushroom haired friend of yours to give you a lift."

"Geez Levi, for all the years that we've known each other I would have hoped you learned my name by now." Armin said in an obviously pissed off tone. "And the only reason why I'm not driving them is because I'm not willing to lose my space in the parking lot and then drive around the block for half an hour just to street park. Now can you please come pick up Eren?"

There was a string of curse words and the sound of rustling clothes on the other line in response and Armin can just picture the deep scowl on the ravens face clearly in his head. He waited for Levi to finish muttering to himself before he continued. "So should I make Eren drowsy enough so he won't bother you or..?"

"No!" Levi said, practically barking out the order. "It's better if the shitty brat stays awake. Last time he got piss drunk he threw up on my lap while I was driving and it took everything in my goddamn power to not pullover and dump your little friend on the freeway. If he's awake, he'll at least let me know when he has to puke so I can shove his damn face out the window." Armin remembers that evening quite well actually. He woke up to the sound of Eren's screams of terror and rushing water. He was thoroughly convinced that the brunette was being murdered but when he rushed outside to the backyard, his trusty frying pan in one hand and a flashlight in the other, all he saw was Eren being hosed down while still inside Levi's car. The pressure on the water hose must have been on full blast since Eren couldn't even get a word out but a gurgled mess of screams and shouts. But the lack of sympathy on Levi's face as he continued to drench his car, boyfriend, and his boyfriends belongings proved that he honestly didn't give a shit about the brunette's well being at that point in time.

The unfortunate aftermath of that terrible event resulted in Eren's lost of a phone, fifty dollars, Eren refusing sex for two weeks, and Levi going off the deep end and trying to find a 24 hour car dealership at 1:00 in the morning so he can invest in a brand new car since he felt his will never be clean again. Something Armin, thankfully, was able to talk him out of, mainly because all dealerships close at normal business hours, much to Levi's charging.

"Right....So I guess I'll keep him up then. I'll ask Mikasa to try and keep Annie up also, just to be safe."

"I don't know what the fuck you take me for Arlert, but I'm not some chauffeur. It's bad enough I have one drunk coming home with me, the last thing I need is two more drunkards to waste gas on and the higher risk of my car getting ruined."

Armin practically scoffed at Levi's concern. "Mikasa's alcohol tolerance is as high as yours and Annie isn't some sloppy drunk. If anything her sex drive sky rockets so expect a pair of horny lesbians in your back seat and some questionable fluids."

"That is the LAST thing I want in my fucking car Arlert!" The blonde suppressed his laughter at Levi's remark, not wanting to anger the shorter male and risk him changing his mind. Armin could hear the sound of an engine revving up in the background and looked at his wristwatch. It was already 12:00 AM so if anything it should take the raven fifteen minutes to get to the house and about thirty minutes to drop of Mikasa and Annie and return back to his own quarters. The blonde looked over to the trio to see Annie fast asleep with her head in Mikasa's lap while the raven stroked the blondes hair languidly and Eren snoring loudly with his head on his half sister's shoulder.

His attention was brought back to the phone when he heard the sound of a car horn going off and Levi's insistent grumbling. "How is there even any bloody traffic this late at fucking night." Another sound of a horn and the sound of tires screeching as Levi shouted at someone to 'shove their car where the sun don't shine'. "I still don't see why the fuck you couldn't drive them home Arlert. You sound sober enough at least."

"I had three cups of wine Levi, but I'm not willing to endanger their lives behind the wheel even if I had only one cup." He said with exasperation in his tone. "Why even complain if you're already on your way here?"

"Not so much of a complaint more like an observation." Armin raised an eyebrow at that. For some reason he didn't like where this conversation was heading. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well a little idiotic and concerned birdie told me you like to turn to the bottle whenever you're feeling a bit stressed."

Armin's hand gripped the phone with way more force than necessary. His gaze hardened as he tried to keep his words hushed but normal so he wouldn't attract Mikasa's attention. "What the hell is that suppose to mean? Is Erwin going around telling people that I'm some sort of alcoholic?"

"Well obviously not. If he was telling everybody than Eren would have never brought you that bottle of wine, now would he? It just happened to come up-"

"Okay Levi, I understand that Erwin is your best friend-"

"THAT is a gross overstatement. And don't interrupt me when I'm in the middle of speaking."

"Fine, best casual acquaintance, or whatever you want to call him but please do not tell Eren about what he said. I don't know where he gets off telling you that in the first place, it's not like we're dating so he shouldn't even care."

"So he's not lying? I don't hear you denying it."

Armin heaved a heavy sigh. "Levi you're on the road. I'll talk to you later." The blonde didn't bother waiting for a response as he hung up on the older male. He knew he'd never hear the end of it from Levi but that conversation left a very unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach and a sour taste in his mouth.

It wasn't that Erwin was right but he wasn't wrong either, if that makes any sense. Armin just wouldn't go as far as calling himself an alcoholic. Does he have a tendency to drink when stressed? Yes. Was he constantly stressed more than 75% of time, especially after his break up? Again, yes. But that didn't make him an alcoholic.

Alcoholics do not know control and Armin knew when enough was enough. And it wasn't like he actively sought out alcoholic whenever he was stressed, it just happened that whenever he was stressed he was around alcoholic. Two completely different things.

Or at least that's what Armin liked to tell himself.

If anything the blonde was more mad at the fact that Erwin thought he had the right to be concerned about him. He's been drinking since he was 16 years old and has never been blackout drunk. At least not in public. The blonde knew to practice caution when drinking, always using Eren as a guide of what not to do, so he always prided himself on being responsible. Erwin just always managed to make him feel far from that however.

Whenever the blonde was in the presence of Erwin he felt like the only thing his ex will ever see in him was a child that needed constant supervision. It was like during the timespan of their seven year relationship, not even counting the four years that they spent together intimately, Erwin felt the need to micromanage every aspect of Armin's life. His college, his job, his living arrangements, his clothing, his doctors, practically anything Erwin felt Armin needed to change, he changed without even consulting the younger blonde. Even when Armin turned 21, the age notorious for being an official 'adult', Erwin still dictated how much liquor he consumed on his own birthday.

Looking back at it Armin now knows that he let Erwin go too far. The break up was disastrous but it was 10x worse due to the fact that the blonde relied so heavily on Erwin to the point that he had no idea what to do with himself when he wasn't there anymore. It was like he was a newborn goat just learning how to walk but kept stumbling every time he took a step.

It was and still is a tough transition. A transition that will keep getting harder to conquer if Erwin kept deciding to reappear in his life like a persistent fly.

"Armin?" The blonde looked back to the trio sitting on the couch to see Mikasa looking a bit worried as she tried to shake her brother awake. "You got awfully quiet after you hung up the phone. Was Levi being an ass again?" Armin decided it was best to not concern his friends about their conversation. If Levi didn't tell Eren about his apparent 'alcoholism' problem, than that must mean he respected him at least that much to not spread around unjustifiable information so Armin just waved off Mikasa inquiry. "Levi's naturally an ass. I know how to handle him."

"Where's Levi's ass!? It belongs to me and only me!" Armin and Mikasa just stared at the wide awake Eren who looked a bit deranged as he searched frantically for Levi. The brunette pouted when he realized there was no sign of his raven haired lover. "He's not really here is he?"

"Don't worry Eren, you can have Levi and his ass all to yourself once he gets here. You just have to make sure you stay awake, alright?" Armin said with a chuckle. The brunette gave a very enthusiastic nod to his blonde friend and did his best to stay awake.

After a couple of minutes of Mikasa and Armin trying to get Annie and Eren as orderly as they can get two drunkards who wanted to rip each other's throats out while simultaneously wanting to pass out, there was a curt knock on the door. Before the blonde could even get up from his seat on the couch, Eren bolted straight for the front door and eagerly ripped it open with an unnatural squeal of joy. "Levi~!"

"Oh no," Levi quickly says as he raises a spray bottle filled with water to Eren's face before the brunette had a chance to pounce. "You are not allowed to touch me or be anywhere near me until you have sobered up and bathed at least three times. You reek of alcohol and I refuse to have another vomit incident due to you being an irresponsible, disgusting pile of filth. Now get in the car."

"B-but Levi-!"

"I will count to three."

"At least let me say bye to Armin!!" The raven didn't even bother with counting and was soon chasing his boyfriend down the stairs and out of the apartment complex as Eren screamed out obscenities while being bombarded with water from the spray bottle. Mikasa stared after her brother and rubbed her temples in mild annoyance. She can already feel the headache that she's going to acquire while sitting with those two for the half an hour car ride back to her own place and no Tylenol in the world could help her now.

She looked over to Annie to see the blonde was already behind her and giving her a reassuring pat on the back. "Wish us luck mushroom or else Mikasa might die of an aneurism or convicted for murder." Armin gave the duo a nervous chuckle in response. He knew the blonde was only partly kidding about that statement, which made him worry for Eren even more. "I'll be sure to call to ensure the safety of everybody later so please Annie, for the love of God, make sure Mikasa doesn't try to kill Levi while he's behind the wheel."

"No promises."

"Alrighty then," the blonde said with an exasperated sigh. "I guess that's the best that I'm going to get from either of you so I'll take it and pray for the best." He walked up to the door and gave Mikasa and Annie their hugs, silently hoping for a safe trip back for all of them.

Once the two girls left the house it struck Armin that he was stuck all by himself with cleaning up the aftermath of the small get together. His three friends were over for not only a quiet housewarming, but also to help him unpack the rest of his belongings, something that they never really got around to once the wine came out. And it was already a quarter past midnight and the blonde had to wake up at 6:00 since he was still getting accustomed to his new surroundings.

"The temptation to just pass out right this second is very appealing." The blonde said tiredly. He plopped down onto his couch and surveyed the damage of his living room and let out his umpteenth sigh of that evening. The blonde was just about ready to listen to his body's urges and just go to sleep for that evening but his stubbornness triumphed over his fatigue this time around. He began to sluggishly gather up the used plastic cups surrounding his coffee table and the miscellaneous items that he failed to pack until a certain picture frame caught his eye.

The picture lying inside the box so innocently caused a whirlwind of emotions to erupt within Armin's core. There's a light sheen of dust on the picture but the blonde was able to make out the contents perfectly.

It was him and Erwin. The picture was taken during the the county fair at Armin's old town of Shiganshina, right in front of the Ferris wheel with the sun setting in the background. They were locked in an embrace, their foreheads touching and gazing into each other's eyes lovingly. The younger blonde didn't know that Erwin had hired a private photographer to take pictures of their most intimate and cherished moments with each other during that date and the younger blonde was pleasantly surprised and ecstatic. Erwin managed to give him a whole scrapbook full of photos of that wonderful day but this particular photo always resonated with Armin's soul the most so he had it framed; keeping it at his bedside table so he can cherish it forever. And now here it was laying abandoned with a thin lining of dust to it.

'Now that I think about it the rest of the scrapbook is probably at Erwin's house...' The blonde thought sullenly. He slouched on the couch and stared at the picture frame aimlessly, lightly brushing his thumb against Erwin's face. Armin's eyes slowly trailed to one of the Colt 45's that sat innocently on his coffee table and started glaring at it. "Stop mocking me dammit." But even as he said this the blonde found himself reaching over to grab one of the cans and popping it open. He took a large swig and relished in the burn that his throat was subjected to.

Just as he was about to take another sip the doorbell began ringing suddenly. Armin got up from his seat and looked through the peephole to see Levi standing there with his normal scowl. The blonde opened the door to the slightly irked raven who brushed past him and went straight to the kitchen "The brat left his goddamn jacket here." He said as he walked over to the counter.

"So do you normally not wait for people to invite you in or....?" Armin was answered with an annoyed glare and decided to keep his laughing to a minimum, not wanting to increase his anger more.

Levi grabbed Eren's coat and started to walk back to the front door until something caught his eye. He walked over to the coffee table and picked up the picture frame and Armin inwardly groaned as he scanned the item.

"Having yourself a little pity party Arlert?"

"Levi I honestly don't need this right now." Armin said as he walked over to his couch and snatched the photo from his hands on his way. He threw it face down in the box and sat down, taking another much deserved sip from his drink. "If you're here to try and console me, please don't." Levi rolled his eyes at Armin's moodiness.

"I don't even console my own boyfriend, so why the hell would I take time out of my busy evening to make your bratty ass feel better. Besides it looks like that beer is working good enough for you." Armin knew Levi was saying this to spite him so he took another large gulp in retaliation. The raven sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Look I personally don't care if you drink to the point of your liver failing but don't do it tonight. I promised the brat that I would drive you two to work tomorrow and if you're passed out when we come to get you than I'll never hear the end of it from Eren."

Both Armin and Levi knew first hand how annoyingly worried Eren got whenever something happened to either of them. Armin remembered when Levi caught a cold last year spring and Eren talked his ear off about how 'Levi never got sick so obviously the apocalypse was upon them'. It was something neither of the boys look forward to so Armin begrudgingly put the can down as he let out a sigh. "Don't tell him that I was drinking."

"Tch, why the fuck would I tell him that? I don't want to hear him complain my ear off for several days."

"I mean Erwin, Levi."

Levi looked at the blonde to see that he was deadly serious and refrained from cracking any jokes towards him. "I won't tell him but you know Erwin. He'll manage to weasel the information out of you." Levi said as he walked over to the front door. Armin scoffed as he sat in his chair, looking slightly smug.

"I highly doubt Erwin would go through the trouble. We've spent the last three months apart and  he hasn't tried to contact me since so why would he bother to try now?"

The raven shook his head, either in annoyance or disappointment, Armin couldn't tell. He turned to face the blond one last time before exiting the apartment. "It's amazing that you've known Erwin for more than ten years and you still seem to think that you have the upper hand. A few words of advice for you Arlert; you've only been able to avoid Erwin because he's letting you avoid him. Once that conniving bastard is through playing games with you he'll be at your doorstep as though he never left and you'll let him in with open arms. It's only a matter of time." And with that the door shut behind Levi with an ominous click that rattled Armin to the core, those words haunting his very being.

Because no matter how many times he's told himself that he was over Erwin, he always found himself waiting on a phone call with bated breath.

* * *

 

"No messing around this semester Jean. You barely passed your summer classes so I'm going to need you to buckle down and focus this time around. I know things have been hard these past couple of months but if you apply yourself to your studies and gain some new hobbies than I'm sure you'll be able to-" Jean somehow managed to tune the rest of his mother's lecture out as she drove him to school. It's been the same lecture every morning since Marco passed and quite frankly, Jean was pretty sure that he managed to memorize it word for word. Not that the lecture was sticking or anything. No amount of studying would be able to distract Jean from Marco's missing presence; everything around the brunette reminded him too much of the deceased, freckled boy. Even being in this car reminded Jean of Marco too much, remembering the times that Marco attempted to teach him how to drive and failing epically at attempting to parallel park while the raven laughed beside him in the passengers seat.

Just the mere thought of the raven caused Jeans eyes to become misty. He quickly wiped his face of any tears that threatened to fall and turned his head from his mother's worrying glance. The last thing he need was to pull up to the school and have his mother wiping at his face with a handkerchief with little ponies on it. He slumped in his seat and stared outside the window silently for the remainder of the ride.

As the school came into view Jean felt a weight on right shoulder. He turned his head to see his mom with her eyes still on the road, but her hand rubbing soothing circles with her thumb. The car came to a stop and his mother finally turned her head to give him a reassuring smile. "Don't push yourself too much sweetie. If you're feeling sad than don't hesitate to come home. I won't be there until 2:00 but your father will be home so he'll be able to let you inside the house.

Jean inwardly groaned at that piece of information. Him and his father's relationship was still a little rocky after Jean came out to him so whenever the two were alone in a room together, the tension was abundant with awkwardness. He didn't outwardly reject him like Marco's parents but you can tell by his mannerisms and the way he looked at the brunette that the situation still bothered him.

He was respectable in the sense that he didn't use any slurs or shun him but the lack of communication and disappointed glances was enough to persuade Jean to just stay out of the older man's vicinity as often as possible. "Don't worry mom, I'll be alright enough to make it through the first day. I'll see you later." He didn't even bother to wait around for her response before he rushed out the car and practically bolted to the entrance of his school. He didn't stop his running until he was in the student filled lobby where the noise of the morning announcements and the excited chatter of the students filled his ears.

"Jean, hey Jean!!" The brunette turned around to see a short, shaven head boy rushing over to his side. He felt himself smile a bit at the approaching boys face, a tad bit happy to see him despite his recent feelings of depression. Beside Marco, Connie Springer was the only other person Jean considered a close friend. "Hey Connie. How was your summer?"

"Ehh, spent half of it here since Mr.Braun royally dicked me over since I failed gym. How he expected me to be physically active at 8:00 AM in the fucking morning is beyond me." Connie said with a sigh. "But now that nightmare is over since I have Gym last period this semester. So did you get your class schedule?" The brunette shook his head no and Connie looked at him with a horrified expression. "Dude are you serious? You might want to pray that you didn't get this supposed demon teacher that everybody is talking about." Connie looked even more taken back when Jean gave him a genuine look of confusion in return.

"Okay listen up cause I'm not going to repeat this twice. You know who Krista is right? Well she's best friends with Sasha and apparently Krista told Sasha that her girl friend Ymir, who just finished graduating from Shiganshina High School, had the worst home room teacher during her senior year. According to Ymir some shit went down with this teacher and he was forced to transfer over here and now everybody's on edge because we have no idea what this dudes name is so nobody can avoid him!!" Connie finished his story but the most he got out of Jean was an unimpressed glance. "You're not even a little worried that you got him?"

Jean shrugged his shoulder and crossed his arms. "Honestly speaking, no. I don't know if you've actually been in the same room as Ymir but that girl is a prankster. She probably made the whole thing up to scare Krista or something."

Connie still looked unconvinced but let the matter drop with a sigh and a very reluctant 'if you say so'. With that settled both boys made their way over to the main office to pick up their class schedules. Connie spoke animatedly about his 6 month anniversary with Sasha that passed in August and how they went up to her parents cabin in the woods to hunt and enjoy an all you can eat Chinese food buffet while Jean listened on silently. It was just nice to take his mind off of Marco for even a couple of minutes. He was starting to think that his mother's advice might be working.

"Oh by the way sorry about your lost man. I heard about Marco once I got back home with Sasha. Everybody was shocked by it."

'Well that didn't last long.'

Jean tried to shrug it off without letting any emotions pass through. "It was a surprise for everybody so don't even worry about it."

"Yeah but I know how close you and Marco were so it probably hit you the hardest." Connie laid his hand on Jean's shoulder, something that a lot of people seem to be doing lately, out of pity or comfort; Jean honestly didn't know at this point. "I'm serious Jean if you need someone to talk to I'm here, alright?" Jean gave the hazel eyed boy a strained smile and nodded his head.

"Thanks." It was a sincere thank you but Connie knew from the way he said that one word that talking was the last thing on the brunette mind. They continued their walk in silence until they reached one of their deans handing out slips of paper to each student. The man's voice was booming as he practically yelled at each student that came to collect their schedule from him.

"I don't see why any of you idiots didn't do your schedule beforehand, but congratulations on screwing up the beginning of your semester on your first day. Bunch of dumbasses." The teacher screamed as he gave the frightened students their schedules. Connie approached the older man with tentative steps, not necessarily out of fear but he wasn't too keen about being yelled at first thing in the morning.

"Hey Mr. Oluo. How was your summer?" Connie tried a very nonchalant approach when addressing the naturally booming dean and unfortunately for him that didn't stop the obnoxiously noisy teacher  from basically screaming in Connie's ear and shattering his eardrum.

"And you Springer!! You were here all summer and you still managed to dick around and not be prepared. Honestly it's like some of you kids come to school just to be dumber. And I'm looking at you too Kirstein!! What exactly were you doing this summer to miss so many days of your remedial classes you lazy- Ack!?"

Mr. Oluo suddenly recoiled in pain and held his jaw as he attempted to soothe his aching tongue. Behind him was one of the other deans of Shiganshina high school, Petra Ral, who was looking on with a very forceful and pointed gaze at the other dean. She grabbed the papers from his hand and rummaged through them to find Connie's and Jean's class schedule. She gave the boys their papers and gave them a graceful smile. "Here you are boys. Don't let Mr. Oluo's bitter rantings affect your first day."

Connie practically threw himself at the woman's feet and gave her a look of admiration while Jean stayed eerily quiet. "You're an angel Ms. Ral!" The blonde female waved Connie's remark off with a graceful smile, already use to these comments by 75% of the male student body. She motioned for the smaller boy to get up and began to lead both him and Jean to their first class of the day. Petra let Connie walk into the classroom first after he finished thanking her for the umpteenth time but held Jean back; something the taller brunette already suspected was going to happen. Petra's gaze softened as she noticed that the boy wasn't trying to meet her gaze. "Jean, how're you holding up so far?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"How was Marco's funeral?"

Another shrug of his shoulders.

"Are you ready to come back to class?"

He nodded his head but still refused to meet her gaze.

"Are you just saying that to get me to stop talking to you?" Once again, another shrug. The young woman let out a sigh and gave in. "Okay Jean, I'll grant your wish but please, if you're feeling down or anything at all please come and see me. You know where my office is." She patted the boys shoulder and walked away as he opened the door to his first class of the day....

....Only to be greeted by a male with shaggy brunette hair who wasn't that much taller than him with a very deep scowl on his face that was pointed directly at Jean. "You're late."

Jean honestly couldn't tell if this guy was a student, a teacher, or a troll doll, but after this very infuriating morning of nothing but pity parties and Ms. Ral's infuriating questioning, Jean can honestly say that he did not care at this point. "I was with Ms. Ral. Sorry about being late-"

"Late slip?"

"Late slip!?"

"Yeah, a late slip. Are you lacking proper brain cells to even understand that much?" The teacher said as he scrutinized Jean even further.

"It's the first day of class and I was just standing outside your classroom talking to a dean!" Jean could feel his blood boiling as his voice came to a near booming height. It was like all his anger and frustration that had built up over the morning was being released through his mouth and he knew he was going to get into so much shit once this was over but he couldn't stop. "I don't understand why you're giving me such a hard time on the first day for just let me sit down and start your fucking class!"

"I don't understand why the hell you're being so unreasonable and yelling. How about you calm the fuck down and talk like a fucking human being!?" The screaming match between the two kept the other students deathly silent as they watched the two exchange yells that varied from curse words to insults until a beeping from the PA system halted the screams.

"Good morning faculty and students of Shiganshina Public High School. Welcome to the fall term of the new school year. Before we commence with the morning announcements, I would like to request a moment of silence from both the faculty and the student body."

Jean could feel his blood run cold as he listened to the woman's announcement over the speaker. He stood stock still as his hands grabbed fistfuls of his black slacks. His throat felt as though it had seized up on its own and his breathing grew ragged.

The announcement continued on, "We regret to inform you all that a very special student was taken from us this past summer. Marco Bodt, an extrodinary student and even greater friend, has passed away due to a heinous act done by a very treacherous individual. It saddens me deeply that none of our new students or faculty members would never be able to meet such a bright and caring young man who had nothing but great things to accomplish in his life. He was taken too early from this earth but we will salvage his memory and hold him in nothing but high regards. I now request a moment of silence from everybody in the building in honor of Marco's memory."

And Jean ran. Jean ran away from the classroom that held too many memories, the school that held too much meaning, away from the mere thought of Marco Bodt that caused his heart to tremble and throb and caused nothing but bruised and prickly sensations against his ribcage.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don’t hate me. The plot should come together soon.....I think.

**Author's Note:**

> So we’re already off to a depressing start for Jean. That sucks. At least Armin is happy!
> 
> For now. 
> 
> Seriously, he’s going to be depressed as fuck come chapter two. Sorry, but everybody suffers in this story. SorryNotSorry.
> 
>  
> 
> CHAPTER 2 PREVIEW:
> 
> Where Jean has the worst homeroom teacher and Armin runs into a familiar face.
> 
>  
> 
> Not really a preview but who cares.
> 
>  
> 
> BTW, I make that hot chocolate all the time and it is seriously the best chocolate orgasm you can ever have.


End file.
